


Poetry By Dead Men

by BlaiddDrwg1982



Series: This is the Soundtrack of Our Life [39]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Malex is the main relationship, Michael deserves good things, Music, Poetry, Singing, Song fic, What-if AU, others are just mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 06:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaiddDrwg1982/pseuds/BlaiddDrwg1982
Summary: In a 'what if' conversation by the Fates, a new universe is spun out, to see what could have happened if a few key points were tweaked.





	Poetry By Dead Men

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for details about the first part before Michael shows up in the story.
> 
> Song: Poetry by Dead Men - Sara Bareilles (a few words altered but not many) (c) 2019
> 
> Poem: Desiderata - Max Ehlmann (c) 1952

In the large White Room that became and dissolved as was needed and when needed, three figures appeared around a table that wasn't there a minute ago and had existed since Time was created. They each wore a face that existed on Earth at Any Time in it's history and future. 

"We've been unnecessarily heavy handed with Him."

"Which Him?"

"Both. Neither. Either or."

They nodded at once in agreement.

"It's too late to change what is coming."

"But not to late to give a look at what could have been."

"If they had not killed the First."

"Nor woke The Defect."

"Then She would survive."

"And He would have thrived.

The three nodded in consensus, weaving their agreement to a parallel course of action.

"What of the Other Him."

"That is was and will ever be the Reality. The only way to eliminate that would have also eliminated Him."

They nodded solemnly at the starkness of THAT reality.

"What if The Aberration never walked in on Them?"

They sat in contemplative silence fore a moment, before they agreed.

"Let the Parallel Become, so we might see what else could be wrought."

A ripple travelled through the empty space, allowing their alternative reality take form.

"We have consensus?" One asked.

"We have consensus," They all answered.

***

Michael sat on the stool at the Wild Pony for the first time in years, looking out at the crowd that was cheering him on, a smile gracing his lips as he strummed the guitar that he ONLY ever brought out when he was here. He'd been booked by his agent to play in Albuquerque, and when he told Maria and Rosa, they insisted on going home to play. So. He made the call and got the guitar. Proceeds from tonight's impromptu concert was going to the local Veterans Affairs office which had been shorted a lot of funds the last few years. It was a packed house, and he was genuinely having fun being back where it all began. Max had turned up with Liz of course, and Isobel was snuggled up with Jenna, in a move that surprised no-one.

He'd heard a certain Army Captain would possibly be stopping by as it was his last day in uniform today, and due to losing his leg, he was not eligible to re-enlist. Which suited Alex just fine. Rumour had it (supplied by Maria's mother) that Alex was taking some time off to find himself again. Time that Michael thought was long over due.

Looking up as the employee door opened, he couldn't help but smile a bit to himself as he played through the last chords of Maria's song. After the next break, it'd be his turn to do the singing, and he definitely had something in mind for part of the set. 

As the lights dimmed lower, he set his guitar down and made his way to the bar, a spring in his step, feeling light as the air. Flagging down Mimi, he blushed a little red when she gave him "That Look" when he tried to pull out his wallet to pay for a drink.

"Now don't you be pulling out that wallet Mr. Guerin. Your money's no good here. Especially since you and my baby girl have been paying who knows how much for my treatments to keep me IN this place. What'll you have?"

It was an old back and forth between them. He, Maria and Rosa after having made their big break made their first big investment in medical treatments for Mimi. They kept her great about 75% of the time, and during the periods when things weren't always great, Maria would come back, run the bar, while Michael and Rosa would hound every doctor and research scientist and offer large sums of money to get some extra focus on who was Mom to them. Well. Mother in Law to Rosa. 

"Just a beer Mimi. And make sure Alex's glass never empties. Okay?"

Mimi looked over to where Alex was surrounded by his military buddies with a grin like the cat who ate the canary.

"Michael Guerin don't tell me you're still pining after him after everything."

Michael had the decency to blush and nod his head.

"I love him Mim's. No amount of him leaving will change that. Besides. Since his Dad kicked the bucket, he's been a lot less broody."

"I'll give you that. Shame how Jesse tripped on that paint can, rolled into a ladder that hit a branch that made a porcupine of all things fall out of a tree and land with all its quills in his face causing him to stagger into traffic and get hit by that runaway school bus. If you weren't in France at the time I'd have to wonder if you had anything to do with it."

Michael merely shook his head.

"No body count here Mimi. Sometimes bad things happen to terrible people."

She slid the beer over to him, and he leaned over the counter to give her a kiss on the cheek. Looking over his shoulder at Alex's table, she smiled and nodded her head.

"Michael Guerin. You're story never fails to surprise me. Now get up there and show them how it's done. I love it already."

Taking a sip of his beer as Rosa took her place and Maria grabbed her bass, he popped to the back and changed his shirt to a plain t-shirt and a forrest green button down. Returning to the stage before the lights started coming up he gathered everyone around him.

"Hey. Change of plans for the first song. You know that cover that I never do?"

They exchanged a look. He'd done it once at a random show they played in Washington, but that was it. They'd practised it a lot though. Nodding slowly, Rosa put her hands on her hips.

"Okay Niño. If you're sure."

Michael licked his lips a little nervously. The last time he'd done this song in Washington, Alex had been camped out at the back of the venue, and left before he'd actually started singing it. He knew that Mimi was right. Carrying the torch he had for Alex since they were teenagers was almost foolish. But the heart wants what the heart wants and who was he to get in its way.

Turning back to the crowd, he set his beer bottle down beside his stool and strummed a random chord to gather everyone's attention. Rolling his eyes as Izzy and Liz wolf whistled him, he smiled broadly, loving the support his sibling had given him since he told them he wanted to pursue music as well and engineering.

"Alright everyone. Thank you again for coming out tonight and putting your money to a good cause. The local VA has been doing great work for our men and women who have come back and needed some help to get back on their feet. I'm going to slow things down for a few minutes and do something I rarely do, and that's cover an artist. Even if she is fucking awesome. So sit back, grab your loved one and enjoy."

Nodding to his partners and their back up band, the music started. Strumming along, he started singing with a cheeky grin.

_By the time you hear this_   
_I'll be in the rear view mirror_   
_I'll even wear that green shirt you like_   
_So when I disappear_

Alex, from across the room suddenly perked up at the beginning of the song. His gaze focussed a bit more on the man singing, and he felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. He did blame the beer that he drank in hindsight. 

All three sips of it. 

_You can turn around_   
_One last look_   
_At the guy you lost in the time you took_

_To make up your mind_   
_Between two roads_   
_Go and take some more time_   
_But me and mine must go_

Alex's treacherous memory flashed back to the screaming argument he'd had with Michael, over how this place was always going to be his home, and chasing his musical dreams wasn't in his cards. He was a Manes, and that meant only one thing.

Military service. 

As much as he wanted Michael, it was one thing he couldn't have. They'd been lucky that night, when Jesse only saw Alex in the shed, not realizing that Michael was hidden under the discarded reel of hose. Which was for everyone's benefit.

_I tried to wait it out, no more_   
_Can't find the man I was waiting for_

With laser like precision, Michael's eyes found Alex's. Playing into the chorus, he dropped his voice an octave, sounding a little more sexy than the original version of the song would lend you to believe.

_I wanted to be your guy_   
_In a white t-shirt_   
_Over coffee stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

The shared smile they had reminded them both of doing just that when they had reunited with they were in their early 20's and Michael, Rosa and Maria were still playing small gigs, but pulling okay money with their album sales. 

_I wanted to be your guy_   
_With your hands on my skin_   
_Stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

Rosa and Maria echoed softly

_(While you read me poetry by dead men)_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

Closing his eyes and getting back into the song, his voice lifted in pitch, holding steady unlike that time in Washington. That had nearly been a disaster.

_By the time you hear this_   
_Who knows where I might be_   
_Singing 'bout another near miss_   
_Love that ended incomplete_   
_I was ready but you weren't_

The spectre of Jesse Manes, who was still only recently deceased loomed over them for years. A point that Alex continued to make, that he'd never be free of his dad, but he couldn't risk being with Michael either. What was the most painful though, was how much Michael understood it. It hurt. Badly. But he didn't want to make Alex feel torn.

Didn't mean he wasn't a touch bitter though.

_So jump with your net from this bridge you've burned_

_I wanted to tell you things_   
_All the secrets I've been keeping_

Michael had been close SO many times to telling Alex about his Alien Nature, but there was lingering fear in him. If he wasn't too sure about Alex, would he really risk his life, or Max's, or Isobel's? He knew in the deep part of his heart that the answer was, irrevocably YES.

But...

_I saw it in front of me_   
_But then you just kept disappearing_   
_A good dream almost_   
_Now I tell your ghost_

Letting his voice climb half an octave, they seamlessly hit a key change to accommodate his vocal shift. 

_I wanted to be your guy_   
_In a white t-shirt_   
_Over coffee stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

Opening his eyes, he found Alex's again, even from this distance seeing the small unshed tears that everyone else would miss. Never him though. He'd never looked away from Alex once. One thing that Alex would love and hate him for, for eternity. He would always make Alex be the one to turn away. 

_I wanted to be your guy_   
_With your hands on my skin_   
_Stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

Again in turn Rosa and Maria echoed.

_(While you read me poetry by dead men)_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

Dropping back to his regular key and the more comfortable part of his range, Michael put every ounce of yearning in his voice, pushing to try and make Alex feel what he was going through. 

For 10 long years.

_Line after line_   
_The words just serve to remind the two of us_   
_Oh what we could have been_   
_Poetry by dead men_

He felt a hint of desperation entering his voice, which was fitting because that's been a sensation that's been sitting under his skin since the last time he and Alex parted ways. His music was always about clearing his head. At times like this, his soul was what needed unburdening.

_Fire from embers_   
_How can I make you remember_   
_With a turn of phrase_   
_Would you turn to me if I say_   
_I still want to be your guy_

The silence filled the room as the tempo slowed down in the song.

_I still want to be your guy..._

Michael's eye locked on Alex's barely blinking, not giving Alex the room to look away either. 

_In a white t-shirt_   
_Over coffee stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_   
_I wanted to be your guy_   
_With your hands on my skin_   
_Stirring in the cinnamon_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_   
_(While you read me poetry by dead men)_   
_While you read me poetry by dead men_

The crowd erupted at the performance, nary a dry eye in the house. Taking a deep breath, even though he smiled at the crowd, they may as well have been on the other side of the planet. He saw Alex blink slowly, then break the eye contact looking down an away. Feeling his heart start to crack, he launched into the rest of the set, no-one being any the wiser about how he was truly feeling.

As the night wore on and the crowd dispersed, he welcomed a hug from his family and made plans for meals over the next few days. Their next engagement wasn't for a few weeks, so they were just going to kick around town for a bit. Mimi had an appointment in Dallas around the same time they played there next so she would be joining them on the trip, leaving the bar in the capable hands of Kyle.

In reality they just prayed he didn't burn the place to the ground, but he had decent cocktail skills having worked to put himself through med school. As everyone dispersed into the night, he stayed back to lock up.

Hearing the door click from the front, he called out without looking up.

"We're closed. Come back tomorrow."

Hearing the footsteps, he sighed softly to himself, preparing a more stern rebuke, though the words died in his throat when he saw who was there. 

Alex moved forward, his cane supporting him mildly though he really didn't need it. With a shy smile on Alex's face, almost afraid of Michael turning away from him, he spoke with a measured and steady tone.

"Be yourself.  
"Especially, do not feign affection.  
"Neither be cynical about love;  
"For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment  
"It is as perennial as the grass."

Michael felt his eyes well up.

"Desiderata. Max Ehrmann."

"One in the same. And if memory serves, one of your favourite poems by a dead man."

Michael nodded his head, making his way around the bar, stopping in reaching distance of Alex.

Standing there, staring at each other, memorizing the new small lines starting to appear on each other's faces. The haunted shadows behind Alex's eyes. The lightness and joy in Michael's. The soft smile they shared only for each other.

"I'm not mad at you, you know."

Alex felt his shoulders slump as Michael said that.

"It took me a while though. To get there. I understand though. Where you were. Where I was. We...we weren't even in the same book let alone the same page."

"I never should have left all those times Guerin."

"You always found your way back to me. For a month. A week. A day. You always found me."

"But why did you..."

"I never lost sight of where you were Alex. Not for a minute. Not for a second. Every time you walked away, I watched you leave."

"How could you stand it though. What I did...what we..."

Alex's lower lip trembled. Michael stepped closer and tilted Alex's face up just slightly with some light pressure under his chin.

"I never looked away. So I never lost sight of you. Even half a world away."

Caressing Alex's cheek, Michael steeled up his courage and closed the gap, pressing a kiss to Alex's tears soaked lips. Letting the tender kiss break, and stepping back to given Alex room to breathe.

"I never lost you Alex. And you never lost me. You just...needed to take your own journey."

Letting Alex take his hand, he stood there for a minute.

"We should talk, but not here. Can we go back to yours? I don't really feel like Izzy and Jenna listening in to our conversation."

Alex nodded his head, giving him a soft smile.

"I think I even have some cinnamon in the cupboard."

"Do you remember the rest of the poem?"

Alex nodded his head, bumping his shoulder into Michael's.

"Of course."

Stopping and turning to Alex, he pulled the other man into a firmer kiss. When they broke, Michael smiled and quoted.

"With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,  
"It is still a beautiful world.  
"Be cheerful.  
"Strive to be happy."

**Author's Note:**

> The thing at the beginning the in the Big White Room. I've used it in a few of my other fics, Sterek ones actually. And a song fic. Basically the being there have power and domain over everything and can spin an alternate universe if they think they may have gone wrong. If you ever watched Andromeda, it was actually inspired by the white room and bonsai tree that Trance used in an episode to control the outcome for something.


End file.
